The “Tells” of High School Seniors Continued…

This is the continuation of my May CHCC Newsletter.

Here is a summary to catch you up. Just like people playing poker, high school seniors give away their level of growth if you know how to read the signs. Most high school seniors follow a pattern that we can observe and hopefully pick up on to help them make the transition into adulthood in their faith.

Tell #1: Their current level of involvement in the church. If they are still a regular part of the youth group, this is a good sign. It’s not guaranteed that they will hold to their faith in college, but it is a good start. It either means that they are still pursuing their faith or that they are going because you as parents as still encouraging them…good for you!

Tell #2: Where they sit in church immediately after graduation. I find that students often transition quickly from sitting with their friends in church to sitting with their parents. This generally means that their church support system is mainly their parents—no longer their peers. This can present a problem with them connecting in ministries within the church and their campus that can help them grow.

Tell #3: Where they connect or don’t connect in the first month of college. It seems pretty obvious, but the first month is critical. Connecting with the church, college age, or campus ministry is almost a guarantee that they will be successful in maintaining and growing their faith throughout college. No connection means that they might struggle.

Tell #4: Living at home. I find that one of the largest obstacles for a student to overcome is living at home while attending Ozark, Southern, or Crowder. While this is definitely a generalization with loads of exceptions, it is a pattern that I see. Living at home does not demand the student to put themselves out there relationally or spiritually. This is a necessary part of growth.

Things that are not tells that you would think should be on the list:

Rebellion. Rebellion is wrong, but the quest for independence is normal and appropriate. Recognizing this as a parent and allowing avenues for healthy independence is important.

Friendships falling apart. It is part of rediscovering one’s self. Relax. It is a very normal part of growing up.

Questions. Again, college is rediscovering one’s self. I love honest questions; they mean that the student is thinking.

Not going to school. Breaks are normal. The key is forward momentum. If the student is working to save, make sure he or she is actually saving. Or, even better, help them find a job that can give them experience in the field they are interested in.

I hope that this list helps. Please feel free to post comments, e-mail me (jquade@chcchurch.org) or Facebook me.